from how i became a famous novelist, by steve hely (2009).
- rule 1: abandon truth.
- rule 2: write a popular book. do not waste energy making it a good book.
- rule 3: include nothing from [one’s] own life.
- rule 4: must include a murder.
- rule 5: must include a club, secrets / mysterious missions, shy characters, characters whose lives are changed suddenly, surprising love affairs, women who’ve given up on love but turn out to be beautiful.
- rule 6: evoke confusing sadness at the end.
- rule 7: prose should be lyrical.
- rule 8: novel must have scenes on highways, making driving seem poetic and magical.
- rule 9: at dull points include descriptions of delicious meals.
- rule 10: main character is miraculously liberated from a lousy job.
- rule 11: include scenes in as many reader-filled towns as possible.
- rule 12: give readers versions of themselves, infused with extra awesomeness.
- rule 13: target key demographics.
- rule 14: involve music.
- rule 15: must have obscure, exotic locations.
- rule 16: include plant names.
Reblogged from Books Rule.
June 27, 2009, 6:23pm
